Dear Sistar with Toni Moné

How do I push past fear?

~ Me

After chatting with an intimate group of my peers, I realized that Fear is a thing that we are all dealing with on some level. There’s of course, the collective fear that we are living with daily – fear being fed to us from those who profit to keep us small and disconnected from ourselves – but we also have our personal fears that can keep us from showing up the way we’d like, delay us, or stop us completely. So, I thought I’d use this space to share something personal because, you are not alone.

Dear Sistars,

Many of you know that I have started hosting a casual interview series within The Calabash Community on Facebook called Toni Talks. Each Tuesday evening, I go live with an awesome creator or entrepreneur, and have them share their medicine with our community through conversation. I honestly love it! I’ve been wanting to do some kind of podcast or virtual talk show for a while so I know this is a pure manifestation of my desire! But even knowing that, every Tuesday morning without fail, I wake up with my stomach in knots and find myself aboard an all-day emotional rollercoaster that departs from my inner fears. I have to ask myself- how will I push past this fear?

Who do I think I am to be doing what I’m doing?

Am I even worthy enough to be doing this work?

Am I smart enough? Am I talented enough?

Do people even want to see me each week?

Is today the day they see that I’m a fraud?

What if I don’t know what to say or they hate my questions?

What if they hate me?

What if I just look stupid and sound simple next to this incredible person I’m interviewing?

What if no one shows up?

Why do I think I’m so special?

These are some of the questions I ask myself every Tuesday. Even writing this brought tears to my eyes because if a friend or client said that these are the questions she is asking herself, then I can only imagine the stories she is telling herself and the painful moments that have imprinted within her from a long, long time ago. And it would make me sad to think that this beautiful soul, who has come here to be all the things she desires in this lifetime, feels that she is not worthy of this life she is creating, or doubts how special she truly is, and how necessary her voice is for others to hear.

Why can we dish out loving advice to others in one breath, and deny ourselves the same beautiful wisdom in the next?

Sometimes we get so stuck and scared of being judged by others that we allow their projections to become our personal beliefs. We continually identify with traumas that occurred from our past, usually childhood – like when I heard the kids in my third grade class talking behind my back about how I’m a kiss-up and really not as good as I pretend to be, or when I tripped and fell into a door in front of the entire class and everyone laughed at me. We store these moments in our subconscious along with stories like we aren’t good enough, or when we are the center of attention, people are going to laugh at us, and allow them to silently dictate how we move in this world. We become afraid to be seen so we stay small and keep quiet. But the thing about fear is that it only exists within our own minds. False Evidence Appearing Real, they say.

Do not get stuck in the illusion of fear.

The only way to change your future is to release the past, so that you can be the person you know you are – today. You don’t create the life you want by questioning if you’re worthy of that life or good enough for that life. You get that life by showing up for the life you want! Every. Damn. Day!

See your fear, and show up anyway!

Thank your fear for wanting to keep you safe, but trust there’s something more beautiful, more desirable on the other side of it. (Psst… everything you want is on the other side of fear!) Yes, I get nervous and spiral into the shadowy parts of my mind, and have even wanted to cancel my Talk hours before going live, but then something magical happens in those final moments…

I choose ME.

I choose to believe that I AM worthy of the life I am creating, worthy of the attention and any admiration that comes my way.

I choose to believe I am enough.

That I know enough and have enough words, charm, and intelligence to keep an interesting and enlightened conversation going.

I choose to believe that it’s okay if not everyone likes me because they also have a choice and they need to do what feels good for them, just like I need to do what feels good for me.

I choose to trust that I am here doing the work I love for a reason and that my purpose is massive when compared to my tiny fears.

I choose to believe the more I show up, the smaller the fear will get.

I absolutely love what I do each week and am so grateful that I get to do what I love! It’s not always easy and it definitely has pulled me out of my comfort zone. To grow, you have to get uncomfortable… you have to stretch yourself beyond what is and what has been so you can start to experience what can and what will be! I’m just a regular girl who knows that I am here to change the world by simply showing up as myself. And you are here to change the world by simply showing up as yourself.

We’ve just got to keep showing up.

There’s a necklace I wear each and everyday to remind me of how worthy & enough I truly am to be who I am in this life. It’s actually called a Worthy Wand and it’s an intentional piece of jewelry that acts as a visual reminder of my truths. I’ve even purchased a few for my friends and family so that they can have their own visual reminder of how worthy & enough they are too.

Because I love the story behind Worthy Wands, and the power of affirmations, I’ve become an affiliate with them. If you’re interested in purchasing your own piece of intention jewelry, please use my link and discount below. I will receive a small token of appreciation if you do so. ❤

Worthy Wand

Use code: Worthy10 for a 10% discount