Shaman

I try to play in the forests of my mind

But sometimes I get tangled

In gnarled branches

Or rosie thorns

The idea of it seems like a dream from childhood

Like those moments when I would shut my eyes

And the space behind the chair in the corner of my room would turn into a secret staircase 

Or a rainbow pathway would emerge from my walls

Or I would feel myself flying above my own body in bed

But alas, croning into the motherhood of myself has poured logic into those inter-dimensional realities

And when I close my eyes nowadays 

I find myself standing still

Stoic-eyed and gazing upon leaf-covered forest floor

A path covered in dust and old twigs lies ahead

The greyed branches of silvered birches and oaks create a doorway of canopy over its width

As I gaze upon it I feel tired

Weary

Weathered

Too old to still be so young in this version of life

I even feel the wrinkles from old lives hidden behind smoothed skin

My eyes cast too deep and I feel others becoming uncomfortable when I look them in the eye

So I look down and away to spare them the discomfort

I know how they feel

I see too raw and never shallowed

When I close my eyes nowadays

When I see my path in the woods

I feel myself seeing into me

The intensity as my own gaze pierces into my soul breeches any chance I once had of ignoring the very core of my being

And yet, still, it’s in my nature to look down and away before I can begin to walk softly

About Rachel Leah Gerson

Rachel Leah Gerson, MA and LLPC, is a Metaphysical Practitioner and Psychic Educator, and the creatrix of Doorway to Self. Gerson holds a BA in English and Creative Writing from the University of Michigan and an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counselling from Western Michigan University. She is determined to help people understand the intersection of mental health and psychic abilities, because “If you’re human, you’re psychic”.

You can find more of Gerson’s work and more from Doorway to Self at doorwaytoself.com, on Instagram @doorwaytoself @thedoorwaytoselfpodcast and @rachel.leah.gerson, on YouTube, and on Facebook “Doorway to Self” and “The Doorway to Self Podcast”. You can also be sure to tune into The Doorway to Self Podcast on Spotify, GooglePlay, Anchor, iHeartradio, iTunes, and more.