January opens us up to a new year, bringing in change, shifts and new awarenesses. It is both beautiful and challenging as we move out of the old stories and start showing up for the magic that beckons us forward.
It invites us into co-creation with our deepest longings and asks us to honor our souls, our bodies, our community and to explore love in deeper ways. To make space for rest, to allow ourselves to be messy and to ask ourselves, what are the most nourishing ways I can support myself and also invite others into my journey?
One of the things I am letting go of in 2023 is the need to prove my worth. I have spent a lot of my life striving, hustling, pursuing and trying to control or convince others to see my value.
It’s exhausting. Trying to be it all. Acting like you are strong and successful and perfect. Many times in my relationships, I have been the one who holds the space for others to feel seen, held or witnessed. Many times when I have asked for it in return, it was met with resistance, with walls, with silence. My full self is deep and intense, she longs for depth, for communication, for the space to be held in the same way she holds.
And while I am worthy and deserving of having others hold me in this, I have to do it for myself first.
Showing up for yourself, for your knowing, for your healing and reclaiming is powerful and brave work.
I recently did a sacred plant medicine journey for myself. I sat in ceremony, in sacredness, in my room, surrounded with flowers, cards and cozy things, with healing music and I opened myself up to hold space for all the things that wished to be known, expressed, felt, heard, experienced and witnessed. The week before I felt so much resistance and was even a bit scared to do this on my own but I knew that this was part of my next step into calling back my wisdom, to becoming the shaman, the medicine woman, the healer I know I am here to be.
My highest self, guides and ancestors showed up and it was a wild ride that lasted almost 6 hours. As I called back the fragmented parts of myself that had been wounded, lost or forgotten, my voice grew louder and she reminded me of who I was. I let my anger and grief be felt over the men who had abused my body, who had sought to dim my light and claim power over me, the ones that has caused me pain and suffering because of their own pain and suffering.
I called back my voice and my knowing, I reminded my body that I chose her, that I claim her, that I love her, that I chose to be here and to create a life that is full of adventure, pleasure, love, ease and healing.
I decided to no longer run from the love that seeks me, to embrace the power that exists within me and to show up for the magic that exists within us all, to help birth healing for the collective.
For I am a vessel made of water, of fire, of earth and of sky. I am a bridge between the physical and the spiritual realm and I am here to be heard, seen, held, witnessed, felt and experienced.
I am here to help guide others and also be guided through the shadows into the light of truth through this journey of life by my soul and the divine love that surpasses all darkness.
I realized that I am a powerful, a woman with a soul who is about to shake up the world with her presence. She’s sassy and fierce, soft and gentle, strong and steady, wise and nurturing, innocent and here to experience pleasure and love in all its forms.
She will not be contained. She’s here to make waves and cut chains. She is ready to walk into her fullness, her next expansion, her purpose, her life.
Like a phoenix she rises from the ashes of what was and remembers what is. She will burn through the old stories, the darkness of her ancestors and take up the fire and water, washing away all the dirt that sought to bury her, she is here to call forth, to be unleashed, to be worshiped in the fullness of her sacredness, in her divinity, she takes back her voice, her power, her body, her knowing.
Your soul and body is powerful. She deserves to witnessed in all her grief, anger,joy, messiness and complexity and to know that
ALL of her is WELCOME
ALL of her is RECEIVED
ALL of her is to be EXPERIENCED
ALL of her is to be FELT
ALL of her is to be HELD
ALL of her is to be LOVED
ALL of her is to be WITNESSED
ALL of her is SAFE to be SEEN
ALL of her is PURE
ALL of her is GOOD
I want to invite you to be a part of this, to choose to show up for this journey if you choose to. For she is waiting for you to reclaim her, you have to call back your knowing for yourself. To surrender to the depth, to the unraveling and presence of your truest self.
To remember who the fuck you are and to take back the parts of yourself that were lost, to call back her voice, her power, to give birth to the you underneath it all the filth that was placed upon you.
To remember that you were made for pleasure, for sacredness, for learning, for ease, for desire, to give birth to the parts of you who are ready to be witnessed in this time, in this life, in this body.
The power is yours, to take it back, to call back from those who sought to claim ownership of your body, mind and life. It’s yours, it has always been yours, it was never theirs and you get to let her know that she’s safe to be witnessed in her full complexity, depth and power.
She wants to no longer to be tame, she asks to no longer to be small, she craves to no longer be quiet, she will no longer settle for less than she deserves. She will no longer be a victim, she will no longer to be used, she will no longer be held down, no longer be caged in the suffering of her past.
For SHE is WILD and RAW.
A lightning bolt of power.
A storm that shifts the landscape.
A lioness that will now consume all that once hunted her.
She is wild fire.
She is both the shadow and the light.
She is your savior and your lover.
She is here to create.
She is here to be unleashed
She is here to be worshiped in the fullness of her sacredness and her divinity.
I want you to be able to find that for yourself and encourage you to choose to show up for yourself in a deeper way this coming year.
For now is the time when we SHIFT, we DISRUPT the old system as we RISE and REBIRTH the life and worth we dream of.
I’m ready for my next expansion.